Apple must have real good Internets at their house

I just bought Logic Pro as an app store download. This is a program that probably would’ve come on five CD-ROMs back in the day. But now it’s a ginormous download.

I wasn’t in a hurry, because I figured it would take some hours. I came in the office to run the download before going to bed. That’s why this dialog box is kinda ironical.

As the download started up, I watched as the estimated dowload time started working it’s way down from 10-11 hours. It wasn’t until 10 minutes later, when it got to 7-8 hours, that I noticed that the text at the top of the dialog box mentions a fantasyland 1 hour estimated download time.

“Ha, ha! That’s stupid,” I said. “Stupid things make good blog posts.” And here we are.

BTW, now, about 10 minutes later, the progress bar estimate is at 4-5 hours.

So it’ll probably end up taking at least 3-4 hours when all is said and done, right? But I did some rough calculatin’ on Apple’s “this may take up to an hour with a typical broadband Internet connection” pipe dream/thigh slapper.

You’d need a sustained download speed of 555Mb/sec. to download 2GB in an hour. You’d need to be able to download the equivalent of 30 minutes of music per minute every minute for an hour. 

My Internets is not that good. 

Al Gore’s Internets is not that good.

BTW, now it’s back up to 5-6 hours.

Users Review the New Version

User name: Wally
User rating: ****
Comment: The new version is great! I was able to complete my project in half the time!

User name: BarbBQ
User rating: *
Comment: The new version is shit! What was wrong with the old one?

User name: Polly Nomial
User rating: **
Comment: I will boycott this company until they bring back support for cross-braided multi-port reverse threading! What are they thinking, bringing out a new version without support for cross-braided multi-port reverse threading?! What is wrong with these fucking troglodyte morons? Join me as I start a worldwide movement to destroy this company and ruin the lives of their thousands of sheep-like employees.

User name: Scoober Doober
User rating: ***
Comment: Thank GOD they got rid of cross-braided multi-port reverse threading in this new version! My hunger strike was bringing me perilously close to serious hunger, and lunch time was still hours away. Now I can resume my normal, hunger strike-free life style. Thank you, version 6.104!!

User name: Just Rick
User rating: *
Comment: I hate to be a pain, but could someone come over here and put out the fire in my computer? I just launched version 6.104, and it overheated one of my processor cores—um, the left one, I think. I’m gonna have to cut this review short, because the flames are about to reach the keyboard, but IMHO, this u

User name: Something McSomethingstein
User rating: ****
Comment: OMG! OMG! I absolutely LOVE this version so much. OMG! The way it handles simultaneous calls to the database, the way it outputs to any format I want, the way it holds my hand when I’m afraid, the way it looks into my eyes and assures me that everything will be all right, the way it tells me I’m pretty and I can tell it really, really means it—I can’t say enough about it! If I had to nitpick, I’d just say that I do hope the next version will address the issue leading to the random severe electrical shocks.

User name: Ayn_was_right
User rating: *
Comment: If Hitler ass-raped Osama bin Laden, version 6.104 would be their love child.

User name: DaisySunFlower
User rating: *
Comment: WHY would they remove support for in-line virtual vectorizing, aside from the fact that they want to DESTROY MY LIVELIHOOD AND TAKE FOOD OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF MY CHILDREN?! And I don’t even have children! I hope the entire company gets cancer of the face.

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