Mayor Rob Ford in, "Love That Rob!"

SEASON 1, EPISODE 12, “ROB’S AFTERNOON OFF”
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INT: Suburban Living Room

ROB FORD is entertaining friends JAMAAL, his drug dealer, ROXETTE, Jamaal’s girl, and MARTHA, a prostitute. Bottles and overflowing ashtrays cover the coffee table in the otherwise immaculate traditional-style living room. Rob is tooting a massive line of cocaine just as the front door opens and his wife, RENATA, enters, carrying shopping bags.

RENATA (cheerily)
Honey, I’m home!

ROB (face comically covered in white powder)
GAAAHHH!! Lumma ferma gamma herp!

JAMAAL
Oh, hey, Mrs. F.

RENATA
Oh, hello, Jamaal. (to Rob) I’m sorry, honey, what did you say?

Rob gets up and moves to give Renata a bearhug. 

ROB
Cumma har, babbababba. Lemma…

Rob falls over and completely obliterates the coffee table, sending bottles, ashtrays, cups and glasses flying everywhere.

RENATA
Oh, dear. I better get something to clean that up.

She exits. Rob, sprawled on the floor, immediately begins snoring loudly. In a moment, Renata is back with a rag.

ROXETTE
Is he… is he choking?

RENATA
Oh, no, dear. That’s just his apnea. Now, would you all be so kind as to help me roll Robbie over so I can clean the Hennessy off the Oriental?

JAMAAL
Sure, Mrs. F!
                                                                                                                 Cont.

 

5 fresh, new sitcom premises

 

Transylvania Taxi—Alex and his lovable loser friends are the main drivers for Transylvania Cab, and are always at odds with Louie, the gruff, irascible taxi dispatcher. Adding to the madcap fun, everyone is a vampire!

Dracula & Son—Fred Dracula is the prideful, irascible owner of a junkyard. His son, Lamont, dreams of bigger things in life. But he has to put his dreams on hold to help Fred and his friend Grady get out of jams caused by Fred’s constant, harebrained get-rich-quick schemes. Plus, they are all vampires!

Vrohda—Vrohda is a loud, irascible window dresser at a downtown department store. Carlton is her harebrained doorman. Brenda and Ida are her sister and mom. Joe is her blue collar husband, and also sometimes irascible. And they’re all vampires!

VanHelsing—Jerry VanHelsing is a comedian who is frequently on the road. But when he’s at home, there’s never a dull moment. That’s because George, Kramer and Elaine, his harebrained, irascible friends, frequently barge into his apartment to unload about their latest neurotic crises, many of which center on the fact that they, like Jerry himself, are vampires!

Blood Buddies—Best pals Joey, Phoebe, Monica, Rachel, Ross and Chandler hang out in their favorite coffee shop and commiserate over their fraught lives as young singles who, oh, by the way, just happen to be vampires!