Latest rejected letter to People Magazine

My Dear People Gentlemen!

I get why Little Prince Georgieboy’s first steps are exciting! Who wouldn’t?! I definitely want to be kept up in the loop for all past and future playdates! Bath-time tantrums?! Check! And plans for a ROYAL SIBLING?! Are you kidding?! OMG! 

What I don’t get is why we are shouting about RAISING A LITTLE PRINCE!

I’m afraid we’ll wake the poor little regal darling from his nap! So, SHHHHHHHH!

I mean, shhhhhh.

Yrs vry sincrly & long live the Queen, etc., etc.,

R. Ichard D. Yllema

PS: Stiff upper lip and all that, what, what.