#OST: More Facebook posts from Oversharing Tuesday

 

I have a celebrity back acne fetish. #OST

The reason I was such a scrawny, malnourished kid? They say breast feeding is supposed to bring a mother and child closer and everything, but I was just never really into my mom’s breasts. #OST

Sometimes I go commando and pretend I’m wearing “virtual underwear.” #OST

I started liking my e-cigarette more when I heard someone say it looked like I was sucking a robot dick. #OST

The first time I was allowed to take my little sister to the zoo by myself I was crushed to learn that even a three-year-old was too big to shove through the bars on any of the cages. #OST

When I was in college, I put a sleeping bag on my bed so I wouldn’t have to wash the bedding. I’m still using the same sleeping bag, and I don’t even notice the smell anymore. #OST

Theatre in the round makes me dizzy. #OST

I cheated on my Mensa entrance exam and failed to get in anyway. #OST

If I need change for the parking meter, I steal coins from the fountain at the childrens’s hospital. #OST

If I really hate someone I’m waiting on, I won’t wash my hands after using the restroom. #OST

 

More Facebook posts from #OST (oversharing Tuesday)

Yesterday I thought my cyst had stopped throbbing for a while, but it was just that a train was going by, so I didn’t notice it so much. But it’s definitely throbbing now.

My mom used to make me help her take care of my little sister and I resented it, so when I had to serve my little sister a snack, I coughed on her cookies.

Sometimes I when it seems like I’m deep in thought I’m really just stifling a vomit.

To save money, a lot of times I just wave the deodorant near my underarms but don’t actually apply it.

I thought Eleanor Rigby was a comedy song about a party girl who caught the clap from her priest.

I knew my uncle was a Nazi war criminal, but I never said anything because he always sent me $50 for my birthday and Christmas.

I haven’t cleaned my bathtub since Obama has been president.

I’m not entirely sure who my second child’s father is, but I’m pretty sure it’s not my husband, although it may be one of his brothers.

I flout recycling guidelines.

Facebook posts from "Oversharing Tuesday"

#OST, y’all!

Until the age of 34 I believed vampires were real.

The inside of my left eyelid itches when I smell pancakes.

To save money, I sometimes steal my tips back when the bartender isn’t looking.

I’m letting the hair on my ears grow out.

Sometimes when I burp it makes me nostalgic, because it smells like the Frito pie served by my high school cafeteria.

I often feel like my life is a prequel to a movie I hated.

I’m one of those people who think President Obama was born in a foreign country, but unlike most, I think that country is New Mexico.

Sometimes I sit on the toilet to combat feelings of loneliness.

Writing this is one of those times.