Famous Last Words

“Next stop, Bergen, New Jersey!”“Are you gonna be scared of a few Russians in winter?!” —N. Bonaparte

“Relax, guys—this’ll all blow over.”—R. Nixon

“We’re our own country now, so there.”—The Confederacy

“Palin for President 2012”—Bumper sticker

“Mission accomplished.”—W. Bush

“Segregation today, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever.”—G.  Wallace

“The Allies invade Europe? That’ll be the day!”—A. Hitler

“Occupy Wall Street? Trust me, it’s going nowhere.”—Anonymous plutocrat

A movement feeds the media beast?

  “Hi, I’m Sativa Wilkins.”
  “And I’m Justin Chen”
  (Together) “And this is Occupy Wall Street Daily.”
  “The show that explains today’s popular discontent to the mainstream media.”
  “That’s right, Sativa. As you know, the mainstream media has been reluctant to cover the ongoing Occupy Wall Street protest.”
  “And understandably, Justin.”
  “Oh, absolutely. You see the mainstream media craves concepts that are easy to communicate in 5-second soundbites.”
  “So a group of discontented citizens like the Tea Party is perfect for them.”
  “Sure is, Sativa! While those folks’ demands might be unworkable, ill-reasoned and even self-defeating, at least they are codified.”
  “That’s where their blind affinity to hierarchical, top-down leadership comes in handy.”
  “But not so for us folks on the Occupy Wall Street scene.”
  “No, our aims can sometimes seem as diverse as the folks who make up the movement.”
  “And that’s just bad TV.”
  “You said it, Justin. So, how are we going to fix this?”
  “Well, Sativa, I’m glad you asked. Each day, we’ll be focusing on one general unifying goal of the movement, which we’ll express in a snappy catch phrase.”
  “These catch phrases are perfect for everything from 45-second in-depth overviews on the national nightly news shows, to discussion topics on cable network pundit panels.”
  “OK, so what’s today’s goal and catch phrase?”
  “Today’s goal and catch phrase is, ’Bring back equal for the people!’”
  “Oh, wow. I can’t wait to hear what that’s about. Right after this break…”