My audition tape to be the fill-in announcer on This American Life

The radio program This American Life is known for bringing a diverse array of non-traditional American voices to the radio. And by non-traditional American voices, I mean actual voices that don't sound like people you normally hear on the radio. 
The people you normally hear on the radio have polished, pleasant voices. This American Life takes it as a point of pride that the voices on their show are not that. In fact, host Ira Glass recently did a segment (click the right arrow under "Act Two") acknowledging that his show was responsible in part for the proliferation of "vocal fry"-inflected voices on the airwaves. What is vocal fry? It's the raspy, clicky vocal sound you get when you try to speak in a soft conversational tone, while simultaneously trying to project your voice for radio. Or when you just want to sound like a valley girl. 
Vocal fry (or, more properly, glottal fry) is produced by speaking only from the vocal chords while leaving one's chest and diaphragm completely out of the equation. Ruminating over why the annoying technique had become so prevalent among the presenters on his show, Glass was forced to admit that perhaps it was because he was its leading exponent—he speaks in 100% glottal fry. Yeah, it probably makes sense that when your boss, one of the most influential people in radio, has found great success speaking like a munchkin, you'll try to talk like a munchkin, too. 
But not all that long ago, the show took its flaunting of the non-traditional radio voice to a new extreme. The advertising inserts for the show—heard at the beginning, middle and end of each episode, are now voiced by a human gerbil. In my mind, I imagine this kid being the This American Life intern when one day Ira Glass hears him say, "OK, who had the decaf soy latte?" And he immediately says, "Kid, I'm going to make you a public radio s-s-s-s-somebody."
Anyway, at the top of the post you can hear the actual This American Life announcer guy, followed by my audition to fill in for him on days when his voice sounds too normal.