Obituary headlines that pull no punches


Oscar Siggets, 93, Ruthless Capitalist, Dies after Too-Short Illness
Brought sketchy, cost-saving innovations to meat processing industry

Mary Nells, 74, Cynical Golddigger
Widowed by three wealthy husbands older than her by a combined 139 years

Sammy Martin, 85, Actor Tied to Irritating ‘60s Sitcom Catchphrase
Lean final four decades for the “‘How They Hanging?’ kid”

Magdalene Arnell, 57, Debauched, Heartless Industrial Heiress
Liquidated family concern upon inheritance, laying off thousands; partied life away

Gerald Tervino, 77, Friendless Philanthropist
Calculated generosity kept heads of charities in thrall of odious douchebag

Catherine Bobbins, 79, CPA and Spending Scold
Few attend service for ever-irritable, harshly judgmental “Queen of Lean”