Top 10 (funny ha-ha) Reasons to Donate to My Kickstarter Campaign


Today is Day 2 of my ManChildATX Kickstarter campaign. I’m raising funds to cover the costs of duplicating and promoting my already completed second CD, My Mouse Finger Is Insured for $10M.

Earlier today, I posted the 10 sincere reasons for donating to my Kickstarter campaign. Just to prove that slight progress towards eventual success hasn’t changed me, here’s the smartass version: 

1. I can’t be rollin’ with these punkass 24s on my Maybach, dawg. I need to upgrade them shits to 26s!

2. Need to resupply my digital recording studio with 1s and 0s.

3. Something, something, something… big piles of cocaine.

4. My wife thinks I still have a job.

5. My psychiatrist advised me to avoid humiliating defeats for the rest of the decade.

6. I promised Yeti that if I made my goal, he could be the hype man in my next video.

7. It will bring me that much closer to my goal of being bigger than Radiohead by the year 2157.

8. My Mouse Finger insurance agent informed me that my premiums are going up again this year thanks to my hangnail claim.

9. Failure makes me all cranky and stabby and stuff.

10. You’d just spend that money on stupid things like food and shelter.

Thanks so much for your help!