Got more money than time? Download DoFor!

Are you tired of complaining that you have more money than you need, but not enough time to wipe your own ass? Well, now you don’t have to complain! Or wipe your own ass, for that matter!

Meet DoFor! DoFor! is the revolutionary app for our times.

You’ve got plenty of money, it’s just that you don’t have enough time to enjoy the finer things in life, much less the drudgery of everyday living, like cleaning your house, shopping for groceries, nurturing your children, or, well, wiping your own ass.

The unique DoFor! algorithm is powered by up-to-the-minute income inequality statistics. With DoFor! you can find people near you who need cash and are willing to “DoFor!” it. Just open the app, tap the map, and within minutes you’ll have a DoFor at your door, and at your command.

We carefully vet all of our DoFors, so you’ll know you’ll get someone who knows how to step-and-fetch-it, pronto! To sign up, all DoFors must show proof of full time employment, a pay stub proving they make less than $100,000 per year, and a breakdown of annual expenses proving they are just barely hanging on.

You may wonder, how do our DoFors have the time to DoFor! you? They need the money, so they make the time!

Download DoFor!, and never wash your car, pay your bills, stand in line at the DMV, buy gifts for your spouse, give blood, clean your toilets—or wipe your own ass—again!