Proof that getting a Money Mailer is NOT like getting money in your mailbox

Dear Money Mailer LLC:

I received your direct mail piece yesterday and noted with amusement the trademarked slogan printed on the front: “Like Getting Money In Your Mailbox.”

I wanted to inform you that for this recipient at least, your slogan rings hollow. Your garish mailing full of crapful coupons is, to me, decidely not like getting money in my mailbox. It’s more like getting processed dead trees that will go straight to the recycling bin in my mailbox.

Allow me to show you the difference. This is me getting money in my mailbox. Please note the expression of surprise and delight: 

This is me getting the Money Mailer® in my mailbox. See the difference?

Thank you for your time and attention.

Yours very truly, etc., etc.,

R. Malley
Blogger/junk mail critic