Massa’s Favorite Pea Soup
3 lbs. darky-shucked green peas
6 cups slave-style chicken broth
Spices to taste
Just give your girl the ingredients list. She’ll know what to do. Her mammy probably made this for your mama and daddy lots of times.
Massa’s Favorite Flaky Biscuits
3 cups white flour
1 cup well water drawn by your colored person
Mix all ingredients. Beat well. When your uppity girl finally gets the message that you want biscuits and you want biscuits NOW, stop the beating and she’ll get her shiftless ass to work.
Massa’s Favorite Thievin’ Darky Pot Luck
This isn’t really a recipe so much as a plan for throwing together a last-minute feast in a hurry.
Send your girl down to where the coloreds stay. Get her to tell those darkies they best turn over all the nice victuals you know they done stole from your larder. Send Ol’ Buck down there with her if you have to. Ol’ Buck, he may be black as coal, but he hates a thievin’, shiftless darky just like he’s a real person. Once your girl returns with the recovered food, tell her to throw together something nice for lunch, and but quick! Keep on ‘em or they’ll take advantage, you know.
Good eatin’, y’all!
Paula “I ain’t no racist” Deen