The 7 Most Porntastic Stills in the Radio Shack Beats Pill Ad

Have you seen the Radio Shack Beats Pill #UWANTIT commercial?

And by the way that hashtag says, “U WANT IT,” but you are forgiven if you saw, “U WAN TIT,” you filthy lecher, you.

In his AdWeek critique of the spot, David Giantasio says, “RadioShack comes off like an unhip, balding, middle-aged dude desperately trying to prove he’s down with the kids—and failing badly.”

What’s wrong with that? Aside from the failing badly part, I mean.

AdRants titled their post about the ad, “Radio Shack Enlists Saran Wrapped Hotties to Sell Dildo-Like Radio,” but I think they mean that in the nicest possible way. 

Now, I’m a customer service business. And I know with all the quick cutting and movement in today’s ads, it’s sometimes hard to miss the important stuff.

So if you watched the commercial and don’t get what all the fuss is about, or if you watched the commercial and are outraged but don’t quite know why, or if you watched the commercial and want to spend a little quality time in the bathroom more closely examining the most provocative and porn-influenced images from the spot, here they are.

Don’t say I never do anything nice for you.

This is the start of a tilt down this young woman’s torso. I say young woman because you have to be at least 18 to get a job in the legal porn industry.This is a continuation of the tilt down the blonde woman’s hipless torso. Hey, is that something DRIPPING down her flat, barely post-pubescent belly?! What could it be? Oh, wait. It’s just the zipper on her oh-so-practical transparent sheath. I can’t imagine why I was confused. Here’s the same young woman. Doesn’t she look hungry? Writhing on a hot set for 12 hours will make a body hungry. But, hey!—That’s not a hot dog! It’s a penis-shaped speaker! Hey, young lady! Don’t eat that! And don’t fellate it either.Now another young woman is in trouble. Look out! A cart of penis-shaped speakers is headed straight for where real penises are supposed to go!People tell me this image might resonate with someone who has ever watched porn. I’ll just have to take their word for it.Yes, this woman is dressed in little girl’s underwear and striking a sexually suggestive pose with a penis speaker resting in the small of her back. But she’s being objectified all the way to the bank, baby!What? I personally don’t see what the problem is here. A grown woman (or a woman of legal age, anyway) should be allowed to stroke a penis-shaped speaker on national television for money if she wants to. It’s called freedom.