10 Things You Do Not Know about the Musical Group the Daft Punks Because You Are Way Uncool

The cover of the Daft Punks’ first LP, when they were a quartet. They are now a threetet.

The Daft Punks were pioneers of the musical genre.

The Daft Punks are from France but always sing in American.

The Daft Punks were named after a founding member who was the original creative genius behind the band, but who went mental from too taking much acid and wound up dropping out to start a hedge fund: his name was Little Steven Daft Punk.

The Daft Punks only want to blend into the woodwork, which is why they just wish people would stop staring at them in their shiny custom-made robot costumes already.

If the Daft Punks fall in a forest, no one will hear it, but only because it hasn’t been leaked to one of the trendy music blogs yet.

They have a new album out, but you’d never know it, because the Daft Punks live by the axiom, “It’s best to hide your light under a bushel.”

The Daft Punks employ a man whose only job is to lubricate their organs.

In addition to the genre, the Daft Punks invented sliced bread.

When they are not being totally awesome, the Daft Punks lay around being merely fantastic.

The Daft Punks do a killer version of “John Henry,” but will only play it as the fourth encore for an especially cool and deserving audience, which so far has never happened.