If you’re like me, there have probably been lots of situations in your life where someone directed a stinging verbal put-down at you and you were so flustered that you were unable to come back with a suitably snappy rejoinder.
Then later on with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, of course, you think of the perfect thing to say given the person and the situation. But missing that opportunity in the moment is devastating.
The 20/20 Hindsight Snappy Comeback Open Source Repository (20/20HSCOSR) seeks to change all that. By providing a central location for the storage and retrieval of snappy comebacks suitable for all types of exchanges, no one will ever have to be left standing there like an idiot going, “Gah… gah… but…” again.
The entries here represent my attempt at “seeding” the 20/20HSCOSR, a little boost to get it off the ground. So please send me your snappy comebacks to add to the repository.
And as you peruse and memorize these entries, please keep in mind that some of these were the products of quite esoteric situations. As the repository grows with your entries, I’m sure more general snappy comeback situations will be covered.
OK, ready? Here goes, the maiden entries for the 20/20 Hindsight Snappy Combeback Open Source Repository:
“Ma’am, I may be irresponsible, but at least I’m not pregnant, which is something your daughter can’t say.”
“Oh, yeah? If you’re so smart, how come you picked me to be your waiter?”
“Thanks! Coming from you, someone who’s never even worked on the L Series, much less one with an auxiliary paper handler, I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“Ha! I’m glad you told the grand jury! I was praying for you to tell the grand jury! I know it doesn’t look like it now, but once I get out of prison, you’ll see how you played right into my hands, you stupid idiot.”
“As it turns out, the joke’s on you. I didn’t really want the job, I just wanted to put you in the uncomfortable position of telling me to my face that you discriminate against the under-qualified.”
“Sir, those may be my teeth laying on the ground, but tomorrow morning who’s going to have sore knuckles, hmm?”
“That’s funny. I could’ve sworn I heard a sack full of shit hitting the ground. Oh, did you say something, boss?”