Dear mailroom intern at People Magazine:
I am writing to express my extreme pleasure and satisfaction with yours of 4/15/13, that being the issue with Miss Cary Underwoods on the cover.
WHERE HAS MISS CARY UNDERWOODS BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!
With impeccable teeth and eyelashes like that, this classy lassy is obviously super-super-super-talented, and, no, three “supers” is not a typo!
By the way I noticed that your story on Miss Cary Underwoods is an “EXCLUSIVE.” When you underline it that way, it makes it all the more fun and special for “People people” like yours truly.
Thank you for just this one time giving us a cover story about a sexy, talented lady instead of one about a horrible mass shooting. I mean, I know you can’t help it sometimes, but it does get a little old. Just sayin’.
But one thing that doesn’t get old? Classy dames like Miss Cary Underwoods, as quoted on your cover saying, “I want to be a hot wife.” Whoa, did someone turn up the heat in here?!
Keep it up, People! You’re all right by me!
Yours, etc., etc.,
R. M. Daelly