5 iPhone apps you are lame for not having yesterday

Whimsy by App With People. This app does just what it says—make whimsy. There are no controls and you don’t do anything. You just put it on your iPhone and it simply suffuses everything in your life with, well, you know. Not recommended for the terminally ill.

What the Fuck Did I Do with My Oh Wait Never Mind by CodeFellows. You know how sometimes you think you’ve lost your iPhone, but you really haven’t? This app is for those times. Whenever you’ve misplaced your phone, simply head toward your computer, and before you can sit down at the keyboard you’ll be like, “Oh, yeah. I left it on the goddamn clothes dryer.”

Hipstonite by Onezunzeros. If you’re like me, hipsters are always hovering around, copying every facet of how you dress, eat and play. It can be a bit much sometimes, especially if like me you are allergic to beard hair. Hipstonite emits a spread frequency hum that recreates the aural ambience of a Wal-Mart. The result? Hipsters leave, and they don’t come back!

MoneyDripper by See Plus Plus Plus. MoneyDripper is a new kind of personal debt visualizer: it’s financial insolvency you can see.  With a few taps, you enter your entire financial history as well as all of your account numbers. Then MoneyDripper displays a soothing image of water dripping onto a stone. Every drop means you are one step closer to hitting rock bottom of the financial shit hole you’ve dug yourself into. But the interface and gestural responses of this app are just so elegantly conceived and rendered, who cares?

Wooby Woo by Ye Aulde Appe Factorie. Wooby Woo is a FaceTime accessory for tiny babies and their back-to-work parents. This one-size-fits-most head bracket lets parents mount their iPhones to capture every expression on babies’ faces and watch them all day long as a PiP insert on their desktop monitors. And baby can see mommy and daddy hard at work in front of their computers, too. Unfortunately, due to the optimal focal distance of 6.47”, baby sees mommy and daddy as kind of these fuzzy blob-like things, but any crossed eyes or pre-migraine-like symptoms should clear up by adolescence.