What does the One Direction perfume smell like, anyway?

Smells like teen spurt! Click to purchase!

Well might you ask! After all, other celebrity perfumes, like Lady Gaga’s for instance, are inspired by other women, and so presumably smell at least somewhat familiarly like perfume. So it is certainly understandable that any woman interested in wearing a scent inspired by five hard working, hard playing young men would be given pause to wonder what it smells like. Well, wonder no more! That is what Oblogatory is here for. So, sit back, relax, and let the following description lead your olfactory imagination on a magical journey.

First off, the One Direction perfume has a base of eau d’Harry. Why Harry? Well, Harry is the schvitziest member of One Direction, and thus gave the celebrity scentologists more to “work with,” one might say. So in your nose’s imagination, fix a base layer of Harry. And not early morning Harry, but rode hard and put up wet end-of-day Harry. Got that?

Moving on, add some musky undercurrents of Louis, particularly the sweatband of Louis’s favorite backward-worn baseball cap, along with some twinges of Louis’s prescription acne cream for spice.

Now imagine top notes of Zayn’s bike shorts subtly commingling with the flaky skin that Liam can’t seem to prevent from forming on the bottom of his feet.

And finally, add to the growing image in your nose some strong lingering afternotes of Niall, specifically Niall’s lucky undershirt—the one he hasn’t removed for nearly 18 months now, the undershirt that has seen him through the end of puberty and the beginnings of fame and fortune. And also, the particular way Niall’s hair smells after he’s put too much product on it and then blow dried it at high heat.  

Put them all together, and you’ve got the scent of One Direction’s new perfume.

Please smell responsibly.