Why I turned down that $3 billion offer for my online service

OK, I get it. Enough already. I’m taking all kinds of flak for spurning a $3 billion offer for my social-whatever-it-is site, KwiKibbitz. People think it’s insane that a 23-year-old guy (and PS, I’m almost 24) would turn down that kind of money.

Well, to all those who say, “Dude, you’re just 23—you could live off $3 billion for the rest of your life,” here is my response:

First of all, I mean, are you kidding? What world are you living in? $3B does not go nearly as far as it did when I was a kid. After I told my dad about turning down the 3 billion, and after the paramedics got his heart beating again, I tried to explain this to him. “See, dad,” I said as they adjusted his oxygen flow, “maybe when you were 23, $3 billion meant something. You could probably buy a lot with it, like maybe a consumer conglomerate or two. But this is 2013.” I tried to go on, but, well, the EMTs told me his blood pressure was dropping again and that they had to get him to the hospital ASAP.

OK, and second of all, dudes, I am not selling out my baby for peanuts. How would that reflect on my belief in the greatness of my world-beating innovation? Look, until me (OK, me and my devbros), no one had combined pre-existing technologies in exactly the same way I did to produce a service that does exactly what KwiKibbitz does. I may never another idea for combining other peoples’ ideas that’s as good as this one. I gotta see this through to its ultimate outcome. And from that perspective, from where I’m sitting—in my comfy chair in my nice office, living a very nice lifestyle that is completely supported by the largesse of my VC investors—$3B is chump change. And, dudes, as I flash by you on the street in my Ferrari, do I look like a chump to you? No, because I’m going so fast I’m all blurry! Vroom!

Third of all, to all you people who say $3 billion is a shit-ton of money considering KwiKibbitz has never earned a dime and probably never will, I say, You so don’t get it. See, I’m not in this to get rich. I’m in this to get super-rich. Oh, yeah, and to bring added value to society and all of that kind of shit. 

So, with that said, make me an offer. But, dudes, don’t insult me with some ridiculous $3 billion figure.