Warning signs that so-called "rape" may not be legitimate

In an effort to explain his stance on abortion, Representative Todd Akin, the Republican Senate nominee from Missouri, provoked ire across the political spectrum on Sunday by saying that in instances of what he called “legitimate rape,” women’s bodies somehow blocked an unwanted pregnancy.NYT: Todd Akin Provokes Ire with ‘Legitimate Rape’ Comment

  • “Victim” is on welfare and drives self to ER in brand new Cadillac
  • Bruising on “victim’s” face doesn’t look “that bad”
  • “Victim” may be _____ (an atheist; a Democrat; sexually active)
  • Suspect is a respected member of his religious community, and/or…
  • Suspect is “victim’s” father, brother or cousin
  • “Victim” was wearing something more revealing than a burkha
  • Suspect produces receipts for dinner and a movie
  • “Victim’s” sobbing seems “forced”
  • “Victim” not sobbing enough
  • “Victim” was already pregnant, rendering magical reproductive system rape detector functionality inoperable
  • “Victim” is blessed with an unwanted pregnancy
  • Masculine intuition, aka “gut feeling”