More about me

 I eat most kinds of wax, but not cinnamon-scented.

Yes, I really go out in public dressed this way. Wearing these exact slacks, in fact.

My dad was a spy for the CIA. Senior Accounting Manager at Applied Synthetics was his cover job.

I am fully vested. Everywhere.

I have ultrafine control over my pheromones.

No one makes toast as good as me.

I do better on high-octane fuel.

I only walk on sacred ground, but only because I sanctify the ground I walk on.

I became sexually precocious at what a tortoise would consider to be a young age.

I’m not fully vegetarian, but I don’t eat anything with a diploma.

I was the 240,087th Beatle.

I make a mean pancake, probably because I don’t like acting like a pancake.

My biological clock has a snooze feature.

The tides fluctuate with my weight, but I’m working on trying to fix that.

I am the player to be named later.