I ran into my pals Benno and Johnny at The Local Watering Hole.
I know. Stupid name for a bar.
At any rate, it was clear the two of them had been arguing, and judging from the number of empties on the table, it had been going on for some time.
“Guys, guys,” I said, “what’s the problem?”
“I say they’re not going to overturn it, he says they are,” Benno said.
“Oh, the Affordable Care Act decision that the Supreme Court is expected to announce tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” Johnny said. “Brain-o’s got it all wrong on this one.”
“The hell I do,” Benno said. “I know they won’t overturn it.”
Turning to me, Johnny said, “Yeah, and if you believe that one, I have a high-speed rail line to Buda I want to sell you.”
Ignoring him, I turned to Benno. “You think Kennedy’s going to side with the libs on this one?”
“Naw, Kennedy might not even be the swing vote this time,” Benno replied. “I have it on good authority that Justice Alito has polyps.”
“So?” Johnny cried. “They’re all so old they’re probably all full up to here with polyps. What the hell does that have to do with anything?”
“Not just any polyps, wise guy,” Benno said. “These are hyper-aggressive polyps. Alito’s afraid he’ll be uninsurable due to a pre-existing condition if ACA goes down. Or so my sources tell me.”
“Your sources are so full of shit,” Johnny said. “Sheldon Adelstein and the Koch brothers will buy Alito and the other wing nut justices each their own health insurance company as a thank you gift if they overturn ACA. Or when they do, I should say. I.E., tomorrow.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Benno said. “But all the justices have young clerks and friends and family members. Everyone knows somebody with a health insurance horror story to tell. You really think they’d cut off their nose to spite their face?”
“No, I think they’d cut off their Barack to spite their Obama,” Johnny said.
“Oh, so you think politics might play a role in the decision?” I asked.
That brought them both up short. They stared at me. I kept a straight face for as long as I could.
“Another round over here,” I called out to the Bill the Bartender as we caught our breath after our prolonged laughing jag.
“I’ll drink to that,” Benno said, wiping tears from his eyes.
Johnny drained his beer. “Yeah, laughter may be the best medicine,” he said. “But this is more predictable.”