Rejected by People: the sequel's sequel's sequel's sequel

Dear Sirs (and any Madams whomsoever may be reading over their shoulders):

Regarding yours of April 4, “Kate: Is She or Isn’t She?,” I regret to say I disapprove of your preoccupation with the reproductive status of Her Ladyship, Kate, Princess of All Good Britons.

This obsession with the royal ova, this fixation on the fitness of the regal fallopiae, this way lies madness, gentlemen (and ladies—beg pardon)!

I must take issue with this issue of royal issue. For God’s sake, she is just a girl! She just married the fellow! She has barely had time to contend with the shock and horror the vast majority of women countenance upon recognition of all that wifely duty entails. Plus, she is obliged to go to so many official events, ribbon cuttings, parking lot dedications and what have you, that I am certain a hasty insemination is the LAST thing on her mind.

In short, sirs (and ma’ams, if any), let Her Ladyship be a lady. There will be plenty of time for procreative foolishness once the Royal Relationship settles into an equilibrium of ambivalence and codependence. As a long married fellow myself, I know whereof I speak.

Yours most sincerely,

R. Divad Lamley

PS: Has Paula Abdul so completely fallen from your favor that you would deny us, her legions of devotees, even a crumb? Whither Paula in People, people?