So, I’m cooking my eggs this morning (NOT a euphemism), and there’s a quiet knock on the door, the kind of knock that says, “It’s your neighbor, and I have bad news, but maybe you won’t hear me knock and I won’t have to tell you.”

It was my neighbor. He had bad news:

Aargh.

Double aargh.

Enjoy your radio faceplate, douchebag. And your five-year-old iPod loaded with music you’ll hate.

ESTIMATED MONETARY DAMAGES:

$200 new window
$50 (?) new window tint
$35 someone else’s stolen faceplate off e-bay

Probably won’t replace the iPod. I’ll just load more music on my iphone.

Again I say, aargh.