Latest. Rejected. Letter. To. People. Magazine.

Dear People Magazine Editorial Department:

Can you please transfer me over to the People Magazine Subscription Department? I didn’t want to languish in their mail queue. Thanks, I’ll wait.

… … … …

Hello, Subscription Department? Yes, a word, if I might. Responding to your ceaseless importuning, I posted my 8-year subscription renewal to People Magazine on Tuesday. On Wednesday, what do you suppose I found in my mailbox?

That’s right: another importunate subscription notice!

What is going on there, People? Does the left hand not know what the right hand is doing? Do you in the subscription department operate as I have long suspected, simply cashing the checks whilst throwing the subscription renewal forms in the waste paper basket?

I MAILED IN MY RENEWAL ON TUESDAY! WHY DID YOU MAIL ME A REMINDER ON WEDNESDAY?

Pull your head out, People.

Most sincerely yours,

R. David Malley

PS: More about Jessica’s pregnancy, please.