Adele's Ex BF and more disgruntled Tweeters

Over 12,000 followers!Someone has taken to Twitter under the moniker Adele’s Ex BF. Part of the Adele creation myth is that her rise to fame came soon after a painful romantic breakup in which Adele was the dumpee. Adele’s Ex BF is trying to set the record straight with tweets like these:
“In order to avoid showering (which she thought was a conspiracy), Adele would spray 2 full bottles of Febreze all over her body everyday.”

So maybe it’s just a matter of time before we see tweets from the following:

Waka Flocka Flame’s mom
“I thought he had a perfectly fine name, but he said, ‘Mom, no one’s going to believe I’m gangsta with a name like Juaquin.’”

Donald Trump’s ex hairstylist
“I said, ‘It doesn’t matter how the fur is used. Endangered means endangered.’ He said, ‘You’re fired.’ Best thing the weasel-haired jerk did for me.”

Chris Brown’s ex anger management coach
“I absolutely did not tell Chris that slapping your girlfriend was appropriate in cases where she outsells you by 5 to 1.” 

Jeremy Lin’s ex roomate
“J-Lin was like, ‘I’m’a be ballin’ with Melo, homes.’ I’m like, ‘I don’t give a shit who balls with whom. But you were supposed to clean the bathroom two weeks ago. THAT I give a shit about.’” 

Rick Santorum’s santorum
“I was ready to slip out, but then Rick looked at me tenderly and said, ‘Don’t run off.’”