5 online tools I use that make me cooler than you

Smoort—Yeah, sure, your reverse SEO backfeed generator saves you hours of time. But it’s not Smoort, which uses technology developed for brain surgeons, so step off, bitch.

Winnify—As we move more and more of our lives into the game layer (you ARE moving more and more of your life into the game layer, aren’t you?), the more perceptive among us have realized something: in the game layer, there are losers (you), and there are winners (me). Because I use Winnify, and you don’t. FTW!

OrangePorange—The name is self-explanatory, fool!

Vurpid—I can’t believe you’re still using P-Stream and Shunty when Vurpid combines the best of both, plus adds code snippet emulsification. Idiot.

Lemp—Throw out PicSnicLic. Cancel your Zibbity subscription. Lemp is here. But wait, I already use it, and by the time you get your invite, I’ll have moved on to Lemp+. God, you must feel so small, and I don’t blame you.