"Life" lessons from Keith Richards

Never give Junkie Lisa the address to your French chalet.

When traveling, be sure to have a phone number for a well-placed attorney at every stop on your itinerary, preferably one who has done key political favors for the judge at your arraignment.

At a certain point, children will fend for themselves, won’t they?

Don’t schedule anything heavy for cold turkey week.

Change the water in Woody’s bowl daily.

If the riff has a “C” in it, you are playing “Jumping Jack Flash;” if not, you are playing “Satisfaction.” Ultimately, it doesn’t matter.

Your productivity in a given decade is directly proportional to the purity of your heroin supply.

If Keith can stay up 9 days straight on Merck pharmaceutical cocaine, you can miss your nap.