I shouldn't have said that

 

“You were nicer before you got fat.”

“Oh, wait. I owe you another $10.”

“No, I’m not busy. Why?”

“Ohhhhh, it’s art?!”

That’s what you’re wearing?”

“Don’t worry—I got this.”

“You’re so much smarter than people said you were.”

“Yes, I’ve been drinking, but evidently not enough.”

“Come on, officer—what are you, stupid?!”