Things my mom taught me

Life lessons from Ruchelle Malley, who was truly a one-of-a-kind mom:
On relationships: Don’t berate a friend’s recent ex even though she berates him herself and you think that by agreeing with her you’ll help her feel better in the moment; it’s likely she may get back together with the ex and then resent you.

Personal code: Don’t be a tattle-tale and don’t encourage tattle-tales.

Personal safety: Don’t hitchhike. Don’t ride motorcycles. (She vowed that she wouldn’t come to my funeral if I was murdered while hitchhiking or killed on a motorcycle.)

Self-esteem:  “Go forth in the world with your head held high like a proud homo sapien.” (direct quote)

Rules of the road 1: Always do a head check when you change lanes.

Rules of the road 2: Don’t rubberneck at accidents.

Bragging: The boys who say the most do the least.

Frugality versus value: The cheap man pays the most.

Self-reliance: Better to a light a candle than curse the darkness.

Greed: “You let a pig in the house,  it’ll want on the table.” (actually a quote from her mother, my Grandma Lottie Hoffman)

On high school misery: Don’t let anyone tell you these are the best years of your life. They’re likely some of the worst years of your life. A kid whose high school years are the best years of his life has nothing to look forward to.

Criminology: If a man is found stabbed to death dozens of times, the killer was probably his homosexual lover.

Personal finance: Avoid revolving credit.

Tribal generalizations: There’s no such thing as a Jewish alcoholic, but gambling and drug addicts we got. (NOTE: It turns out there IS such a thing as a Jewish alcoholic, but I’ve so internalized my mom’s bias that I’m always surprised when one turns up.)

General rule of thumb: When in doubt, mind your own business.