What me and Lady Gaga did on my blogcation

I failed to post anything here the latter half of last week. I could just claim it was because I was too busy with work, but the truth is a lot more interesting. Here’s a sampling of what I was up to:

Single-handedly built a Habitat from Humanity house out of material I single-handedly scavenged from other Habitat from Humanity houses

Was featured in a film shoot for an upcoming Lady Gaga video. She was pretty cool, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I end up on the cutting room floor, because she was so insecure about me being a better dancer

Decided not to run for the Republican nomination for President after consulting with my family and getting vetoed by the Siamese caucus

Quietly launched the product that all by itself is going to make both the iPad and the ultrasonic denture cleaner obsolete

Touched up my Brazilian

Fortified my compound