Who the hell is dumping rocks in my front yard?!

I just been pilin’ ‘em up until I find out whose yard I’m gonna dump ‘em back in. And that’s not a threat, OK?

 Like I don’t have enough to deal with right now?  And now every goddamn day it seems like I’m finding a good sized chunk of rock here or there in my front yard. They aren’t just hurling themselves up from underground, you know. And I’m not going to stand for it.


Barry, is it you, because if it is, you and I are going to have words, my friend. And don’t bring up the thing with your drill, because for the hundredth time, I did not break that 9/16” bit. It was all goobered up when you loaned it to me.

Hey, you know what? The new people down the street are putting in some kind of water feature. I bet their handyman is digging up a lot of rocks over there. And he could be walking by every so often tossing a rock here and a rock there. What, like that’s impossible? I don’t know that guy—he’s not from around here. And if I find out it’s the handyman, I’m calling the City. And those new people down the street, their water feature permit better have all the i’s dotted and t’s crossed is all I’m saying.

I’ve lived on this street for too long to put up with this shit.