8 time-saving tips you are an idiot if you didn't start doing last year

See tip #8 Start each day with a fresh computer. You’ll be amazed how much you can get done without all of yesterday’s work and data in your face all of the time.

If you find your preoccupation with a social network like Facebook or Twitter is getting in the way of your real job, just turn social networking it into your real job. That way you’ll become bored with it and preoccupied with the job that was formerly your real job and waste all your working hours doing that. All in all, a much better deal for your current employer.

Sharpen your pencils at both ends. Then throw them out. You don’t use pencils, stupid.

Steal a shopping cart from the grocery store; put all of your earthly belongings in it; take it with you wherever you go. Have a pithy “elevator pitch” explanation handy for when people—such as prospective employers and/or the police—ask you about it. DO use the words “life management” in your elevator pitch; do NOT use the words “just trying to get back on my feet.”

Make your own paint. 

Use a spreadsheet program for EVERYTHING. You’ll be amazed how sparkly it will make your dishes.

Spend a few month’s retraining your brain’s auditory center to only hear every third word that is spoken to you.

Hire a staff.