Another Rejected Letter to People Magazine

Editors
People Magazine
New York, NY
Sirs:

Your analysis of The Duchess of Cambridge’s desire for motherhood (“Kate Wants Her Some Babies!,” Dec. 3, 2011) put me in mind of something Freud said that the newlywed royal couple would do well to countenance: “It would be one of the greatest triumphs of humanity, one of the most tangible liberations from the constraints of nature to which mankind is subject,” the inestimable Sigmund said, “if we could succeed in raising the responsible act of procreating children to the level of a deliberate and intentional activity and in freeing it from its entanglement with the necessary satisfaction of a natural need.”  

So, rather than rutting like a pair of thoroughbred horses newly escaped from Her Majesty’s stables, it would behoove Duke and Duchess to approach the act of marital congress with sober forethought and solemn deliberation. Then, and only then, should the furrows of the royal garden be sown with the Windsor seed.

Figuratively, of course.

Yours, etc.,

R. D. Malley