In 2007, while attending an National Public Radio fantasy camp, Andrei Codrescu assigned me the task of conducting a “man in the street” interview. In a florist’s not far from the Howard Johnson’s where the camp was being held, I met Guillermo Estefan Hernan Cortez Villegas de Potosi. The thoughtful, courtly manner of this quiet flower shop owner struck me as being from another time. How shocked I was to learn that Hernan Cortez Villegas de Potosi was a vampire well into his fourth century of un-life. Herewith, the first in a series of enlightening, expectation-smashing excerpts from my interviews with this extraordinary being.